1/2 grapefruit

1 slice whole wheat toast

8 oz. skim milk


4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast

1 cup steamed zucchini

1 Oreo cookie

1 8 oz. Herb tea


Rest of the package of Oreos

1 quart Rocky, Road Ice Cream

1 jar hot fudge


2 loaves garlic bread

Large pepperoni and mushroom pizza

Large pitcher of beer

3 Milky Way candy bars

Entire Frozen Cheesecake eaten directly, from the freezer


1. If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, they cancel each other out.

3. When eating with someone else, calories don’t count if you both eat the same amount.

4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count. such as: hot chocolate, brandy, toast, and Sara Lee Cheese Cake.

5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.

6. Movie-related foods don’t count because they are simply part of the entire entertainment experience and not a part of one’s personal fuel, such as Milk Duds, popcorn with butter, Junior Mints, and red licorice.

7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breakage causes caloric leakage.

Michael E. James H.C. 77 Box 35 Laguna, NM 87026